The Perfect Apology

BonesBallers Pay Attention !!! News Flash!!!

We are in the midst of an unprecedented number of public apologies issued in recent days. We must, in the interest of honoring our “on your own terms” brand of peak performance, realize that the apology epidemic will soon infect us all.

BonesBallers Be Ready!

But first let’s review the current public apology outpouring. Of course we start with the big one. It’s so difficult to choose– but the big one, the big apology has to be Rob Ford, the Toronto Mayor who is so sorry for smoking crack. But wait! The biggest one had to come from the Oval Office. The President obviously didn’t know that some people might have to give up their current health care even if they do get better health care. But we can all rest easy. He took full responsibility and “is deeply sorry.” He says he and his team fumbled the ball. What game are they playing? BonesBallers need to know. We like games! Let us in on the game so we can make our own decision as to whether we want to play this Health Care game or not. No, no. The really big one has to be when Richie Incognito of The Miami Dolphins says something like, “I’m sorry the racist taunts and bullying of teammate Jonathan Martin were taken the wrong way.” Is he a football player or now a revolutionary on PC speech? Can a guy who plays pro football and weighs over 300 pounds bully another guy who plays pro football and weighs over 300 pounds? And they’re on the same team? We’re confused, sort of, now that we have to deal with these new realities in what is acknowledged as a violent sport. But that’s just a sports apology. Far more important of course – the big one – has to be Lara Logan’s apology for all of CBS TV for faulty reporting on what the Obama folks knew and didn’t know about the Benghazi attack. Lara really looked sincere, as if she had done an evil deed herself. Talk about taking one for the team!!!

Mother Nature has yet to apologize for the seemingly ongoing weather calamities. Surely her newly appointed spokesperson, who just came onboard at the weather channel, will issue an apology for all the global warming or no global warming confusion. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.

There were more apologies, but you get the idea. Apologies are mandatory, as if they fix things. We BonesBallers know that what makes us all a group is that we want nothing more than to be, and or do, the very best we can. Of course it all gets out of hand when we want to be the best we can at the expense of others – which can sometimes produce dreadful results. We strive for the feeling that we have either attained, or can attain, some idea of our peak performance in what we call our daily lives, relationships, or what used to be called careers.

In an effort to be of service to one another in our mutual goal of peak performance, we at present the four parts of the perfect apology. (From We apologize for not getting something from

Here you go!

1.Take Responsibility for your actions!

2. Acknowledge the repercussions!

3. Ask for forgiveness or offer redress!

4. Shut up and let it end!

Barry Orms
EX NBAer and now BonesBaller

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Truth or How Dare They !!!????

How dare former President George Bush think it’s ok to ride off into the sunset and just golf and paint? Doesn’t he realize how many people are terribly upset with him about Iraq and whatever else it seems he did or did not do? (Especially if a loved one died).

Should he be put on trial? Some people just want him to suffer at least a little for a seemingly useless war. Others think he didn’t go far enough to rid America of the Muslim threat to something called our national security.

Lots of people are upset about George. But what’s the truth? Are we just upset because we have been defeated by our inability to find the truth in what appears to be the soap opera of our lives? We live in a world of competitive truth making. “May the best truth win,” is the order of the day.

This game of “Your Truth is Evil and My Truth is Good” is what we BonesBallers call competing ethics or “Compethics”. It’s a game won by realizing that the real truth and nothing but the truth can only come from playing your own Bonesball game of “Going Out of Your Mind While Singing That James Brown Mega Hit song, ‘I Got Soul and I’m Super Bad.’” Don’t worry about the rest of the lyrics, as we often did not know exactly what James Brown was saying. (Did he?)

We still reminisce about James and marvel at his performances because we see something coming from within him that was a real outpouring of his truth. He took whatever influences he had from those that went before, and recalibrated them into something we could only say came from his soul, which is what made him a musical hero.

As we look for truth in today’s mish mash of jibberish about who and what is right and wrong, BonesBallers understand that by utilizing that jibberish, that – what came before – we can recalibrate, allowing us to become our own heroes in the ongoing adventure of “compethical” truth building. We are thus able to learn more and more about that “thing” we all want to connect to, that “thing” which let’s us make decisions about our lives and define what we believe in – that elusive “thing” we all think we have somewhere in there or out there – Our soul!

Now we have Obama’s approval rating going down and bringing sort of a truth to what you/we/ they needed to believe about him. Ted “Cruzcontrol” comes to stoke your fear of government overreaching. Kerry Washington goes on SNL trying to let us know that the lack of female diversity on SNL is not truly bad. It’s good cause she’s good and she’s there hosting!

Time to recalibrate!

What do you/we/ them/ muliti-culturalist/ liberal civil rights progressives want? My God, the president is Black. It’s bad for me if I’m in the dwindling majority, but good for you in the rising minority soon to be the majority. Isn’t that a little truth we need in a world of open discussion about truth? Well not really ! The solution to all of this – for Bonesballers – is to get out of your skulls and realize there is a place above it all where we can play.


Let’s make our own version of The Godfather of Soul’s classic by singing,
“I Got a Soul and I’m Super Bad and Good and Beyond.”

Barry Orms
Ex NBA player and now “BonesBaller”

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Breaking news!

Breaking news!
Jerry Rice Ditches the Earrings !

In a still developing story, all-time pass receiving leader Jerry Rice has ditched the “hoop” earrings he has been sporting seemingly forever- on both ears !!!!

What does this mean? BonesBallers need to know. Well, I hope it means that somebody got to Jerry and said, “Jerry you’re better than this.”

But what does that mean?
Better than what? In our – “image is everything” – world creating the good image- bad image- and interchanging them is what keeps it all going.

Maybe Jerry did not look macho enough or football presidential enough in the ESPN team evaluation of the replacement referees who have possibly, through their inexperience etc., caused some teams to lose games. What works for Dancing With the Stars does not work for sports commentating? Why Not? Image issues? What could they be?
The NFL, usually so attentive to its image among its millions of fans has basically said – as long as the fans are watching, let’s just go with the replacement guys. Fans and players may complain but as long as the fans watch and the players play, why do anything? For us BonesBallers, this is what we call a compethical problem. We refer to Compethics as the study of competing ethics. Why are we so much more obsessed with small things like Jerry’s earrings (btw, he still has earrings, just smaller) and we seem to let huge ethical issues like the integrity of the game of football just wave in the wind.

How did image become more important than talent? What difference does it make that Jerry Rice was just accessorized all wrong? He’s Jerry Rice! Can we blame the internet, where overnight success can come from showing someone eating a football? But let’s be serious about this image thing. Did we really care anything about a great player like Jonathan Vilma (who?) until he challenged big papi commish in the “bounty gate,” (players being paid for violent hits) and won an appeal and changed his image forever?

He beat the system! We all want to do that just once in a lifetime! We don’t seem to care what kind of image we have as long by hook or crook as we have one that everybody appreciates, hates, likes or envies – but in some way, respects! We know this obsession with image leads to horrible outcomes sometimes.

BonesBallers know that this obsession with image has been with us before we had anything like the fame making tech devices of today. The Frontier spirit that was obsessed with conquering whole countries in many ways is the great, great, great grandfather of the team spirit obsessed with conquering the arch rival team –all in the name of image brought on by a sense of winning!

The historical obsession with moral courage to create social change in spite of the consequences has been with us throughout time. The image of oneself as meaningful to social change (even many times leading to loss of life) is alive and well in many of the movements towards democracy throughout the world. We are even in a major transition in our ethical ideas about what it means to have and who should have an intimate relationship with another or with the world itself. As we Facebook, Tweet, and text ourselves into seeing each other through less and less words, BonesBallers know that “it’s all good.” Cause “what you see is what you get if you can see it.”

Let the image you make be your own !

Barry Orms
Ex NBA player and now BonesBaller

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